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Want to change your life? Stop relying on willpower and do this instead.

I feel like we were all fed the same BS when we were younger – if you want to accomplish something you need to have willpower. If you’re trying to change your life and it’s not working, you might think to yourself, “I must not have enough willpower. I need to work harder.” But you just find yourself getting more tired and frustrated the harder you force yourself to work. Let me tell you why this is wrong!

You know when you’re working on a project for school or work and it’s just totally uninteresting and boring? That’s when you need willpower. But have you ever worked on a passion project where time just flew by and you finished it almost effortlessly? As if you didn’t have to exert any willpower whatsoever to make it happen? The difference is working on something that you are excited about and really want versus something that doesn’t align with what you really want to be doing. So what does this mean if you want to change your life and go after some big goals?

If you feel like you’re forcing yourself to work on something or asking yourself to dig deeper for more willpower then you’re not working on the right thing for you. In other words – you need to re-evaluate what it is that you truly want. 

In my experience, if you want to change your life and accomplish your goals you need to get crystal clear on what you want first. Not what you think you want, not what your family or friends want, not what you wanted a year ago, but what you truly want now. What sets your heart on fire, what excites your soul, what drives you to work tirelessly without force? That’s what you need to identify if you want to change your life and turn those dreams into reality.

You can exert all the willpower you want, but without knowing exactly where you want to go you’ll just be spinning your wheels.

What’s Blocking Your Happiness: Self-Confidence

Well hello, friends! Happy belated Valentines day! I hope you all were able to spend it with your loved ones (that includes yourselves!). Matt and I enjoyed a nice quiet evening with Matt’s brother and sister-in-law, as well as his dad who’s in town on work. It was really nice not having to sit in an overcrowded restaurant (you know how they always squeeze in extra tables on Valentine’s Day!?) and shout over an overpriced meal…but no matter how you spent it, I hope that you thoroughly enjoyed it!

So today I want to continue discussing the factors that limit our happiness. Last week I tackled the issue of self-awareness, which is, in my opinion, probably the most important but the least talked about factor that affects our happiness. So if you haven’t read that post yet, I highly recommend you do so! This week I want to dive into self-confidence because it’s something most women struggle with and it’s probably one of the most common factors in limiting happiness. So take a seat, kick your feet up, pour yourself a big cup of tea and let’s get into it!

self-confidence, self-worth, how to build your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect

Self-Confidence…What exactly does it mean?

Self-confidence, put quite simply, is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment,” according to the Oxford dictionary. I think there’s often confusion between self-confidence, self-esteem, and general confidence. I’ll try to clearly distinguish them. Self-esteem is more of a feeling of your own self-worth and self-respect. I almost liken it to how much you love and appreciate yourself. General confidence is when you trust in your abilities in a specific thing, like your confidence in break dancing for example (that would be a 0 for me). However, being a pretty self-confident person, I trust that if I wanted to get good at break dancing, I could – with patience, practice and a lot of falling flat on my face. Self-confidence to me is an overall good feeling about yourself and your abilities to accomplish your goals, that makes you happier and more successful.

What’s Blocking Your Happiness: Self-Awareness

Happy February, everyone! I love this month, it’s always so full of luuurvvv (sorry, love, I just like to say it weirdly sometimes). I always say that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a day because we should be spreading the love around every day, but I guess it is nice to make one day extra special. Just be sure to keep on lovin’ the rest of the year too, especially yourself! 😉 Ok, so self-awareness, let’s talk about it and how a lack of it will majorly block your happiness, yo (and I def don’t want that for you!).

I’ve been wanting to do a series of blog posts on what I feel are the most common factors that limit our happiness and hold us back from living our best life because if we can pinpoint what it is that’s holding us back, we can take the necessary steps to change it. What limits our happiness is different from person to person, however, there are definitely a few themes that we all seem to struggle with and I want to talk about them so we can kick those things to the curb. First up, is self-awareness.

I’m not the same person I was at this time last year. I’m truly happy about that because I’m in a much better place mentally and soulfully (is that really a word? Not sure but I’m using it anyway because I can!). But I just realized that not everyone feels the same about the new me. I don’t know if any of you guys have experienced this yet, but when you’re working on personal growth or going through a major life transformation it really changes you – to the point where some friends and family may feel like they don’t know you anymore or just don’t get the new you. They might even be scared by or jealous of the person you’ve become. I actually experienced this last week and I was totally taken by surprise – by my best friend in the world…