What’s Blocking Your Happiness: Self-Confidence

Well hello, friends! Happy belated Valentines day! I hope you all were able to spend it with your loved ones (that includes yourselves!). Matt and I enjoyed a nice quiet evening with Matt’s brother and sister-in-law, as well as his dad who’s in town on work. It was really nice not having to sit in an overcrowded restaurant (you know how they always squeeze in extra tables on Valentine’s Day!?) and shout over an overpriced meal…but no matter how you spent it, I hope that you thoroughly enjoyed it!

So today I want to continue discussing the factors that limit our happiness. Last week I tackled the issue of self-awareness, which is, in my opinion, probably the most important but the least talked about factor that affects our happiness. So if you haven’t read that post yet, I highly recommend you do so! This week I want to dive into self-confidence because it’s something most women struggle with and it’s probably one of the most common factors in limiting happiness. So take a seat, kick your feet up, pour yourself a big cup of tea and let’s get into it!

self-confidence, self-worth, how to build your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect

Self-Confidence…What exactly does it mean?

Self-confidence, put quite simply, is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment,” according to the Oxford dictionary. I think there’s often confusion between self-confidence, self-esteem, and general confidence. I’ll try to clearly distinguish them. Self-esteem is more of a feeling of your own self-worth and self-respect. I almost liken it to how much you love and appreciate yourself. General confidence is when you trust in your abilities in a specific thing, like your confidence in break dancing for example (that would be a 0 for me). However, being a pretty self-confident person, I trust that if I wanted to get good at break dancing, I could – with patience, practice and a lot of falling flat on my face. Self-confidence to me is an overall good feeling about yourself and your abilities to accomplish your goals, that makes you happier and more successful.

What’s Blocking Your Happiness: Self-Awareness

Happy February, everyone! I love this month, it’s always so full of luuurvvv (sorry, love, I just like to say it weirdly sometimes). I always say that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a day because we should be spreading the love around every day, but I guess it is nice to make one day extra special. Just be sure to keep on lovin’ the rest of the year too, especially yourself! 😉 Ok, so self-awareness, let’s talk about it and how a lack of it will majorly block your happiness, yo (and I def don’t want that for you!).

I’ve been wanting to do a series of blog posts on what I feel are the most common factors that limit our happiness and hold us back from living our best life because if we can pinpoint what it is that’s holding us back, we can take the necessary steps to change it. What limits our happiness is different from person to person, however, there are definitely a few themes that we all seem to struggle with and I want to talk about them so we can kick those things to the curb. First up, is self-awareness.

I’m not the same person I was at this time last year. I’m truly happy about that because I’m in a much better place mentally and soulfully (is that really a word? Not sure but I’m using it anyway because I can!). But I just realized that not everyone feels the same about the new me. I don’t know if any of you guys have experienced this yet, but when you’re working on personal growth or going through a major life transformation it really changes you – to the point where some friends and family may feel like they don’t know you anymore or just don’t get the new you. They might even be scared by or jealous of the person you’ve become. I actually experienced this last week and I was totally taken by surprise – by my best friend in the world…

I Crushed a 7-Day Water Fast (and Why I’ll Do it Again)

Ok, shit’s about to get real. If you know me at all you know that I love food. I’m one of those “live to eat,” not “eat to live” type people. I freaking love food. All of it. Raw food, vegan food, paleo food, vegetarian food, seafood, sweet food, savory food, cold food, hot food. Seriously, I see food, I eat it. I don’t discriminate. So when I did my first water fast my friends literally thought I had gone insane. I truly think some of them thought I had gone off the deep end and this was my way of trying to end my life after months of agony dealing with my skin condition (read this post if you have no clue what I’m talking about). I know, funny, but not funny. I have a tendency to push the boundaries sometimes.

So, in case you were wondering, NO, I was definitely not trying to end my life. In fact, I was trying to do the opposite. I was trying to get my life back. I attempted my first water fast after about 8 months of living with a horrible skin condition that had completely destroyed what I had called my life up to that point. I was in pain all the time, I couldn’t sleep, I itched like a maniac 24/7, I was anxious, depressed, avoided friends and just being in public, cried all the time, you get the point. It wasn’t pretty and I wanted my fucking life back. I had been to so many doctors, tried so many different medicines, creams and remedies but nothing seemed to help. I was desperate. I would try anything at that point. Enter, the water fast.

5 Misconceptions About Happiness that Stress You Out

I was checking out at the grocery store yesterday and the cashier and the bagger (both maybe 18 year old boys) were having a disagreement about whether rich people or poor people are happier. The cashier thought that poor people are happier because #momoneymoproblems while the bagger thought rich people were happier because they could basically do anything they wanted and not have to work. Their conversation got me thinking about some of the misconceptions about happiness that we have and whether or not these beliefs themselves are actually causing unnecessary stress in our lives. What sorts of beliefs or standards are people trying to live up to in the pursuit of happiness?

Live Your Best Life Now: 25 Soul-Enhancing Ways To Make This Year Your Best Yet

Welcome to the new year everyone! Wow, I can’t believe how quickly last year flew by. To be honest, I’m kinda happy it’s over. It was time to start a new chapter with a clean slate. I needed it! Last year brought me a lot of pain and challenges, but those experiences also changed me in ways I would never in a million years take back! This isn’t to say that you can’t start a fresh chapter any day of the year, but there’s just something about a new year that really feels like the page has turned and you can sort of start over, right? So, let me ask you, are you ready to live your best life now?! I know I am.

To start the new year off with a bang I wanted to tell you guys some of the things I’ll be doing this new year to further connect with my true self and soul, find sustainable happiness, have more fun, and experience rapid personal growth. Some of these things will be new for me and some are tried and true methods that I’ll be sticking with through the new year.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these and if you have some of your own methods for living your best life now, please share with us in the comments! Spread the love around, ya know?!

Want to be happier? Stop Trying to Find Your Life Purpose Now

Do you ever stop and wonder how to find your calling or your life purpose? You’re not alone.

Our generation (my generation, aka Millennials) has become obsessed with chasing after what we call our true calling or our life purpose. And it’s making all of us damn crazy, depressed and confused! I’m certainly not the only one who has felt unsettled, like something’s missing from my life, a little unfulfilled for reasons I can’t explain.

I have a happy, damn-near perfect life with family and friends who love me – so WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I feel like I’ve got some #firstworldproblem here. And I do. Trust me when I say people my age in developing countries or countries plagued by war are not consumed by searching for their life purpose. Unfortunately, they’re more concerned with meeting their basic needs like food, safety and shelter than fulfilling their life purpose – for the most part.

Honestly, this is a pretty modern, “rich” people problem to have (disclaimer: I am not rich so don’t come to me begging for money…, but compared to people my age from previous time periods we’ll say that I am). My life is so great, what could possibly be wrong? What’s wrong is I’ve been chasing some abstract notion of my life’s true calling or life purpose when there isn’t one to be found. There just isn’t. It doesn’t exist, so everyone, please stop looking! Trust me, you’ll be so much happier you did.

What Happens When You Spend Time Alone (and Why You Need to Go On a Solo Retreat Now)

Earlier this year I took a solo, week-long trip to Lake Tahoe that I called my “solo retreat” in an effort to spend time alone, away from the stress of every day life, give my body a little extra time, space and relaxation to heal (if you don’t know what I’m healing from, read my first post!), and just get better connected with myself. A lot of people are afraid to spend time alone – I’m SO not one of those people. I love my alone time. But I think it’s important for everyone, especially for people afraid of being alone, to spend an extended amount of QT (quality time) alone with yourself every so often to recharge your batteries and make sure you’re able to hear your inner guide/voice/soul or whatever you personally call it. So what happens when you spend time alone (like a week!) and why should you schedule some of this time for yourself asap?

You learn new things about yourself

When you spend time alone you have no one else to talk to or share your thoughts with. You only have yourself to contemplate and converse with – and you never know what sorts of things will pop into your head until you’re alone with your thoughts. Have you ever spent more than a few days alone with no one to talk to? I have to tell you, it’s pretty interesting what starts to happen.

We’re constantly bombarded with so much noise, distraction, and external influences in our everyday lives from the people around us, to advertisements, our jobs, tv shows, you name it. All telling us how to behave, what we should want, what’s attractive. And this starts from the day we’re born and doesn’t stop. It’s beneficial for your well-being to stop and give your mind and body a break from the constant chatter once in a while so you can get in tune with your inner voice and reconnect with that badass soul of yours.

Our personalities are constantly changing due to internal and external influences but when was the last time you checked in with yourself to become aware of how you’ve changed? The best way to do this is to spend time alone, free from distractions and external forces and messages. You might be surprised at what you learn and notice.