Hi friends. It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry about that. I really didn’t mean to leave you hanging for so long. See, here’s the deal. By now hopefully most of you know that I’ve been dealing with a difficult, often debilitating, illness. You can read more about it here if you aren’t up to date on my story. For most of 2017 things had been going well and my illness had become more of an annoyance to me, which was a wonderful change after a year of pain and feeling like it ruled my life, and I found the time and energy to start this blog and even a podcast. And then things changed and I got really sick again in April.
Now let me ask you something…have you ever just needed a break from everything? Time to just get away and leave the world behind? Press the pause button on life for a few days?
When my illness flared up again in April it was worse than ever and it knocked me down for a good couple of weeks. I was extremely exhausted, sleeping for days straight, and fell into a dark depression that I’ve never experienced before. Something inside me told me what I needed was to press the pause button on life to focus on my health. So that’s what I did. I’ve been focusing more on getting in touch with my intuition and inner guide and so when I heard this message, I listened. In the past I would’ve ignored this voice or not even have heard it at all. Something inside me was telling me to just stop.
I essentially took a mental and physical break from everything. I stopped working, stopped all social media, stopped all blogging, all emails, I even stopped my beloved podcast that I had JUST launched. I spent all my time relaxing, resting, and recuperating. This was the hardest thing EVER to do. I’m a very driven person and I’m not one to sit still often. Spending all of this time resting and relaxing was so foreign to me and I often felt a lot of guilt. Shouldn’t I be working, earning money, doing something productive?? But I was doing something productive, I was focusing on my health and recovering. That is the most important thing. Without your health, you really have nothing at all.
And as I sit here in wet clothes (wet from the lovely ooze my skin is gifting to me today), I am still on this rest and recovery path. I didn’t think I’d be here 4 weeks later. I thought I’d take 2 weeks off and be back to normal, but it’s taking longer than I expected to get back to my healthy self.
I know I need to be patient and trust in the timing of my life. Trust that this is right where I need to be. But it’s definitely hard when I feel so utterly helpless in my own body. It’s so hard to even just write this post but I wanted to explain what is going on to you guys and why I’ve been completely MIA for the past couple of weeks.
I haven’t forgotten about you guys! I haven’t forgotten about this blog! I’m just going through a rapid growth and learning process while working through this recovery and it’s taking longer than I expected. I thought I would bounce back in 2 weeks and be back at it, but that’s just not the case. But I will be back, I promise. I will be back and better than ever – soon! I will have so much to share about what I’ve learned and I’m excited to share everything with you guys when I’m better.
I just want to thank you all for your support and for reading my blog. It means the world to me to have such avid readers and I hope that by sharing my experiences you know you have a friend in me that you can always turn to. So please bare with me as I take some time to recover and get well. Know that I am doing all that I can to get better and get back to blogging. I will be back soon, so please stay with me! <3
Thank you all so much.